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Funny jokes in 2025

What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
– Silent Night.

Did you hear about the self-help book written by a turtle?
-It was a New York Times’ Best Sheller!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
– To show the possums how it’s done.

A programmer’s wife tells him: “While you’re at the store, get some milk”.
– He never comes back.

Don’t break anybody’s heart; they only have 1.
– Break their bones; they have 206.

It would make sense if Spongebob was homeless in real life
– Because who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Nike have unveiled a pair of trainers made from pineapple leather to appeal to Vegans…
They tried other fruits, but reviews said the ones made from bananas felt too much like slippers.

My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti,
– you should have seen her face when I drove pasta

What did Pikachu said when he tried food in Mexico?
-Pica, Pica.

Did you hear about the Cop who arrested an innocent Iceberg because he thought it looked like the one that sunk the Titanic?
– He was fired for Glacial Profiling.

What is a dog’s favorite car to chase?
– A CATillac!

What did the infectious disease say when the bartender refused him service?
-Well, you’re not a very good host.

What pizza do dogs eat?
-Puperoni.

Why did the dog get stuck in the cat door?
– He was a little husky

What do butterflies love to eat for breakfast?
– Flap-jacks

What is it called when it’s raining ducks?
-Fowl weather.

What’s black and white and goes round and round?
– A panda stuck in a revolving door.

Pandas have fur coats,
– because they’d look pretty stupid in leather jackets.

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