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Funny jokes in 2025

If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero.
– But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get involved.

A drug addict calls the police to report something interesting
The police officer, interested, asks. “What is it?”
The addict responds. “Okay, I-”
The officer interrupts, quickly making sure they’re not on drugs “You’re sober right now, right?”
“Yes, this happened when I was sober too.”
All seems okay to this point. “Okay, go on.”>
“I saw an Italian plumber bump his head on a brick and grow three times his size!”
The officer pauses for a moment and mumbles to himself. “It’s the mushrooms.”

Why should Spiderman join the swim team?
– He has webbed feet.

“Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.”

How do skeletons get COVID?
-From the coffin!

Why does the skeleton go to church?
-It keeps him on the straight and marrow.

Why was the skeleton so calm?
-Because nothing got under his skin.

What do you call a coffee filter mask?
– A coughy filter.

Why can’t a turtle stand up?
-Because of a reptile dysfunction.

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
-They suspected it of fowl play.

What did the male stamen say to the female pistil?
– I like your “style.”

What is the only thing worse than a mecium?
– A paramecium.

Knock, knock.. Who’s there? Oswald.
-Oswald who? Oswald my bubble gum!

What do you get when you cross Spider-Man with a Mediterranean flatbread?
– Pita Parker.

Knock, knock.. Who’s there? Yukon.
-Yukon who? Yukon say that again!

Guess who missed Spiderman Homecoming?
-Uncle Ben.

Why is Spider-Man afraid to go out after dinner?
-He’s afraid of krypto-night.

What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
-Attire!

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