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Funny jokes in 2025

I once had a threesome with identical twins.
– Guess that makes me a dopplebanger.

Why does Superman tell jokes while he runs?
-He’s an Action Comic.

I named my printer Bob Marley
– Because it’s always Jammin’

Roses are red,Violets are blue,
-This card was expensive,Take off all your clothes.

Why did the cat wear a dress?
– She was feline fine.

An atom walks into a bar…
and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. “Why so down?” the barman asks. “Iv’e lost an electron.” the atom answers. “Are you sure?” the barman asks. “I’m positive.”

Who delivers presents to cats?
– Santa Claws!

Where did the heart, liver, and kidney go on a road trip?
– Oregon

What are marsupials’ favorite drinks?
– Quokka-Koala

How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
-They stand near the fans.

Why are Italians so good at making coffee?
– Because they know how to espresso themselves.

Why do pandas like old movies?
– They’re in black and white.

I’m a clown…
-And everyone nose.

Why is the show called SpongeBob…
when Patrick is the star. Hurr-durr. Tee-hee.

When Squidward felt guilty that SpongeBob gave him a Christmas present after he had refused to write a letter to Santa.

Roses are red,Violets are blue,
– I can’t rhyme,Banana.

What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
-Swiss charred.

A guy parks his bicycle outside the US capitol…
security comes to him and says “you can’t park your bike here. Don’t you know that Congressmen, Senators, Speaker, Vice President, foreign dignitaries, and the President come here often?”
– the guy says “oh don’t worry, I’ve chained my bike!”

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