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Funny jokes in 2025

What do you call a bunch of lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
– Not enough sand.

What do a hurricane, a tornado and a red neck divorce all have in common?
– In every case, someone loses a trailer.

What do you call a cat who became a doctor?
– A first aid kitten.”

Why are atoms selfish?
– Because they’re all that matter!

…Courtesy of my witty wife after my 11 year old asked the “Why should you never trust atoms? – because they make up everything” joke.

I thought surely the joke already existed, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Doesn’t entirely work, but it got a laugh out of me!

Why did the artist frequently visit the bathroom?
-Because when you gotta Gogh, you gotta Gogh.

Why was the loaf of bread upset?
– His plan were always going a rye.

What’s a truckers favorite kind of house?
– The ones with the long haul ways!

Why did the volleyball player bring an extra pair of shoelaces?
-Because she wanted to tie the score.

What’s the Avenger’s favorite day of the week?
– Thorsday.

“Stay strong! Weekend is coming soon.”

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?
– He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

A cream-filled donut and an eclair…
-…decided to get a divorce. It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a long, grueling custardy battle.

What did the bouncer say to the psychology major and his friends, Ego and Superego?
– I’m sorry I can’t let you enter without Id.

What did the nurse advise the patient got heartburn after eating a birthday cake
-She advised him to take the candles off first

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
– Just one, but it takes nine visits.

Did you hear about the moose who cried at the funeral?
– He lost a deer friend.

What was the movie they made on the life story of a man who couldn’t see properly since childhood?
– It was a myopic.

That time SpongeBob gave Patrick a cake that literally said “Sorry About the Scabies.”

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