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Funny jokes in 2025

Got the wife a Pug Dog yesterday, despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat…
– the Dog seems to like her.

How does an M&M get around town? It rolls!

A multi-layered person has a double neck.

How can you tell if a snake is a baby?
-It has a rattle.

What’s common between hide and seek, and an unintentional pregnancy?
– Ready or not, here I come!

What did the ocean say to the beach?
-Nothing, it just waved.

Our anniversary is coming up, so my wife told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it.
– She’s going to love this pack of playing cards.

What do you call a man who can jump from tree to tree?
-A monkey’s uncle.

What do you call a monster with a hot dog in his beer mug?
-Frank-in-stein

When do bakers stop making donuts?
-When they get tired of the hole thing.

I used to eat a dozen donuts and hate myself. So I went on a diet, and I have made some real progress!
-Now I hate myself after only one donut!

I’ve heard Dunkin Donuts is going to be the official sponsor of no nut November.
-Their name will be Dunkin Nonuts for a month.

I got Minecraft for my girlfriend
– Best trade I’ve ever made

My partner said he wanted to heat things up in bed.
– So I farted under the sheets.

A guy walking to library and asks for a book on sea turtles.
-The librarian asks “hard back?”
The guy replies “yeah little heads too.”

Okay Google, do you eat?
– I’m a big fan of reading recipes
– but I haven’t figured out how to eat yet.

Zombies may appear slightly disordered at times.
– But their food is always mindful.

Which clothes shop do Minions like best?
– Banana Republic.

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