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Funny jokes in 2025

What do rogues and noobs have in common?
– They both pick locks.

Where does a turtle go when it’s raining?
-A shell-ter.

Ole answered the phone one day and came back to the living room crying.
“Vell, Ole! Vat in da vorld is da matter?” asked the sympathetic Lena.
“I yust had bad news, Lena,” Ole replied, “My fadder yust died!!”
Just then the phone rang again, Ole went to answer it and came back crying again.
“Vell, now, Ole, vat is da matter?” asked Lena.
“Dat vas my brudder.” said Ole. “His fadder yust died too!”

stop your mini-Despicable-Mes from going bananas
-Minion humour

HELP!! Squirrels are chasing me!
-They think I’m nuts!

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg.
-After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

y drug test came back negative.
-My dealer sure has some explaining to do.

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
– One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

Did you hear the story of the man who was trampled to death by a wild pig…
– I’d tell you, but it was a real bore

What does Olaf eat for lunch?
-Icebergers.

The FBI was following a furry.
– They were on his tail.

What do you call two rabbits racing down the road?
-The fast and the furriest.

My uncle is an idiot. He saw a commercial that said, “9 out of 10 accidents happen within a mile of your home.”
– So he up and moved

What did the composer say about the music at the Super Bowl?
– It’s in half time.

What do Minions say when they pick up the telephone?
-Yellow.

What do Minions call their Grandmas?
– Ba-Nanas.

A Father’s Day joke my 8 year old son made up for me today – Why are you so special to Mario?
– You’re the first 1-up in the morning!

Why doesn’t Batman have super vision?
-His parents died.

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