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Funny jokes in 2025
Which fast-food chain is most likely to win a basketball tournament?
– Dunkin’ Donuts.
Why did the skeleton student stay late at school?
-He was boning up for his exam.
If you are stupid, stand up!
Teacher: Everyone who thinks they are stupid, stand up.
After a while, Little Johnny stands up,
Teacher: Ah, so we have one stupid person among us.
Little Johnny: Actually, It broke my heart to see you standing there alone.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road?
-The fast and the furriest.
My uncle is an idiot. He saw a commercial that said, “9 out of 10 accidents happen within a mile of your home.”
– So he up and moved
What did the composer say about the music at the Super Bowl?
– It’s in half time.
What do Minions say when they pick up the telephone?
-Yellow.
What do Minions call their Grandmas?
– Ba-Nanas.
A Father’s Day joke my 8 year old son made up for me today – Why are you so special to Mario?
– You’re the first 1-up in the morning!
Why doesn’t Batman have super vision?
-His parents died.
What is Spiderman’s favourite online music app?
-Spot-a-fly.
A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar
– They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.
They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society. >
The boomer waves this off and says the kids these days are just too sensitive, and that he fought for civil rights in the sixties and did his part.
They go back and forth on this for a while, and finally the Gen Z kid says, “we’re just not gonna settle this. We don’t see eye to eye. You’re too old and out of touch and I’m too young and inexperienced. What we need to do is ask a Millennial with a PhD in sociology for their opinion.”
The boomer says, “that’s a great idea!” And yells, “HEY BARTENDER, C’MERE!”
What did the pitted fruit say when he got in a fight?
– You want a peach of me?!
20 Tons of Canaries
There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door.
After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot.
When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door.
The motorist went up to him and said, “I don’t mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?”
To which the trucker replied, “Sorry, can’t talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times.”
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
-but I still haven’t ruled it out.
Why did the pajamas go to the concert? They wanted to be concert sleepwear.
If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero.
– But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get involved.
A drug addict calls the police to report something interesting
The police officer, interested, asks. “What is it?”
The addict responds. “Okay, I-”
The officer interrupts, quickly making sure they’re not on drugs “You’re sober right now, right?”
“Yes, this happened when I was sober too.”
All seems okay to this point. “Okay, go on.”>
“I saw an Italian plumber bump his head on a brick and grow three times his size!”
The officer pauses for a moment and mumbles to himself. “It’s the mushrooms.”