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Funny jokes in 2025

Why did the cookie have to go to the doctor?
-It was feeling crummy.

Roses are red,Violets are violet,
-Here is my number,Why don’t you dial it?

What’s the difference between an artist’s folder and a diseased fortress?
-One’s a portfolio, the other is Fort Polio.

What’s the only thing weirder than physics
-A physicist

What did one decimal say to the number?
Did you get my point?

They just found the gene for shyness.
They would have found it sooner, but it was hiding behind two other genes.

What do you call it when an elderly man that won three bingos in a row?

– A Jerry hat-trick.

How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?
-Weasley twins are 50 percent off.

A man at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger.
– Then it hit him.

Why did the crab never share?
– Because he’s shellfish!

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

How many A.D.D. Kids does it take to—
– Oooh look, a butterfly!

How is a flower similar to the letter A?
– A bee goes after it.

What do you call a rude cactus?
– A prick.

What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
– Silent Night.

Did you hear about the self-help book written by a turtle?
-It was a New York Times’ Best Sheller!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
– To show the possums how it’s done.

A programmer’s wife tells him: “While you’re at the store, get some milk”.
– He never comes back.

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