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Funny jokes in 2025

I was in a computer room in college today…
– A black person asked where the coloured printer was. I said, “it’s 2016 you can use any printer.”

Roses are red,Violets are blue,
– I can’t rhyme,Banana.

What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
-Swiss charred.

A guy parks his bicycle outside the US capitol…
security comes to him and says “you can’t park your bike here. Don’t you know that Congressmen, Senators, Speaker, Vice President, foreign dignitaries, and the President come here often?”
– the guy says “oh don’t worry, I’ve chained my bike!”

What’s it called when all the treats are gone?
– A cat-astrophe.

What did the artist draw before he went to bed?
-The curtains!

What is an artist’s favorite swimming technique?
-The brushstroke.

What are the odds of a Mexican getting across the border?
– Juan in a million.

What does an alien do when he has to get in touch with Saturn?
– He gives Saturn a ring.

Why was Cinderella so very bad at soccer?
-Because she was always running away from the ball, kept losing her shoes, and she had a pumpkin for a coach!

Where do you get dirt stains out of softball pants?
– In the bleachers

How was the canon invented?
– Two violists were trying to play the same passage together.

What is the similarity between a violist and a prostitute?
– Both are paid to fake climaxes.

How many nurses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-None, they just get a nursing student to do it.

What did the cow say to the turtle?
-Get a mooove on.

Why did the turtle go to AT&T
– because he couldn’t sprint

Why did the monkeys share an Amazon account?
– They were Prime mates

Are you into science?
– Because I lab you so much!

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