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Funny jokes in 2025

I allow myself only one donut per year.
-This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.

Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disneyland?
-They thought it would be fun for the hole family.

Why do panda bears keep buying bamboo?
– They just like the stock!

What do you have to allocate in order to crash a Minecraft server on purpose?
– Premeditated Wam.

What do you call a man without a nose and a body?
– Nobody nose.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
-In case they got a hole in one.

The school I teach at had a volleyball game tonight…
-I told the students that just because it is Halloween it does not give them the right to “boo” the refs.

What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
-The police had to comb the area.

What do you call a cow in a tornado?
-A milkshake.

Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates?
– They call it Gno-man’s-land.

What do you call uncivilized donuts?
-Bavarians.

Your hairline is so deep People can see what you are thinking.

My house was raided and the cops carted off books on algebra, trigonometry and calculus, plus dice and other probability-demo stuff.
– They said it was weapons of math instruction.

Chuck Norris beats rock, paper, scissors.
-Cannon balls, tanks, super destroyers, exploding stars — I could go on.

I was thinking about shearing my llama, but I figured that I better leave him wool enough alone.

Why did the donut go to a therapist?
-He felt empty inside.

What did the blonde say when she saw a box of Cheerios?
-“Wow! Donut seeds!”

Okay Google, how do you like your coffee?
– Talking about coffee can be really exciting.
– I try to stay grounded, though.

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