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Funny jokes in 2025

My ex-wife passed away so I went to the cemetery to honor her. I brought a 20 year old bottle of fine scotch and poured it over her grave
– But first I filtered it through my kidneys.

Recipe for a love triangle: First, get Team 7, then you notice that Naruto likes Sakura who likes Sasuke who likes Naruto (?)

Why did the donut go to the doctor?
-He was feeling crumby.

Soviet Russia would’ve banned Minecraft
-Until it was called “Ourcraft”

It was so cold…
-every kind of cereal in the cupboard was frosted – including the boxes!

Being Vegan gives you a superpower
-The power to annoy all of your friends.

The English teacher wished the class before the poetry test.
– She said, “Metaphors be with you!”

Why should people date microbiologists?
– They’re well cultured.

Knock, Knock!

– Who’s out there?

– Ya.
– Ya who?
– No, I’m going to just Google it.

What’s it called when a crab walks to its part-time job?
– A side hustle.

What do you call a crab that’s green and sings but likes to stay home?
– A Kermit crab.

What did the male bacteria say to the female bacteria?
– Let’s convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.

What can you serve but never eat?
-A volleyball

“I’m No Obito, But Even A Boulder Can’t Crush My Love For You.”

What’s the square root of Minecaft?
-There’s three, actually. The potatoes, the carrots, and the beetroots.

What happens to bad plane jokes?
– They never land.

What did the zero say to the eight?
-Nice Belt!

How do pigs talk?
-Swine language

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