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Funny jokes in 2025

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years.
-Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

What do you call an M&M that went to college?
– A smarty.

Where do bananas learn to split?
– At sundae school.

What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
-The police had to comb the area.

What do you call a cow in a tornado?
-A milkshake.

Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates?
– They call it Gno-man’s-land.

What do you call uncivilized donuts?
-Bavarians.

What do you have to allocate in order to crash a Minecraft server on purpose?
– Premeditated Wam.

What do you call a man without a nose and a body?
– Nobody nose.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
-In case they got a hole in one.

The school I teach at had a volleyball game tonight…
-I told the students that just because it is Halloween it does not give them the right to “boo” the refs.

I was thinking about shearing my llama, but I figured that I better leave him wool enough alone.

Why did the donut go to a therapist?
-He felt empty inside.

What did the blonde say when she saw a box of Cheerios?
-“Wow! Donut seeds!”

Your hairline is so deep People can see what you are thinking.

My house was raided and the cops carted off books on algebra, trigonometry and calculus, plus dice and other probability-demo stuff.
– They said it was weapons of math instruction.

Chuck Norris beats rock, paper, scissors.
-Cannon balls, tanks, super destroyers, exploding stars — I could go on.

What did Iron Man say to Ant-Man?
-Stop bugging me!

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