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Funny jokes in 2025

How do you count cows?
-With a cowculator.

If a furry says they’re sorry…
…is it an anthropology?

A cop caught me doing donuts in the parking lot.
-I thought cops loved donuts!

Why did the chickens cross the road?
-They thought it was a egg-cellent idea!

What do you call a monk who walks everywhere in bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?
– A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

What shape do you always have to be careful of?
-A trap-azoid!

How do you call a woman who makes life hell for doctors in the ICU?
– Intensive Karen.

What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?
-Where’s Pop Corn?

Which bar downtown do soccer players hate striking on?
-Crossbar.

Somebody told me I’m a failure, I’ll prove them wrong

A military function is being held where all officers of the Army, Navy and the Air force are present.
The Army and Navy officers were describing the Air force as the Cinderella of the military.
– To this, the Air force officer replied” I don’t know a lot about Cinderella except the fact that she had two ugly sisters”.

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
-Doughnut Who?
Doughnut forget to close the door!

Drunk guy in a bar, next to him some twins.
The guy stares at them really confused for quite a while until of the twin finally says to him “It’s okay, you are not *that* drunk. We are twins”.
To which the guy responds: “What, all four of you?”

You’re toast.

What kind of candy do you get at the airport?
-Plane chocolate!

What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
-A collie-flower.

What do you call a Lions player at the Super Bowl?
– A spectator.

Where do rats go to replace their tails?
– A re-tail store!

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