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Funny jokes in 2025

What does Batman put in his drinks?
– Just ice.

I wish I was an Abra,
-so I could TELEPORT to your side.

How do you count cows?
-With a cowculator.

How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
-When it’s full.

Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
-Because they cannot even.

If a furry says they’re sorry…
…is it an anthropology?

A cop caught me doing donuts in the parking lot.
-I thought cops loved donuts!

Why did the chickens cross the road?
-They thought it was a egg-cellent idea!

What do you call a monk who walks everywhere in bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?
– A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
– The lettuce was ahead and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

What shape do you always have to be careful of?
-A trap-azoid!

How do you call a woman who makes life hell for doctors in the ICU?
– Intensive Karen.

What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?
-Where’s Pop Corn?

Which bar downtown do soccer players hate striking on?
-Crossbar.

Somebody told me I’m a failure, I’ll prove them wrong

A military function is being held where all officers of the Army, Navy and the Air force are present.
The Army and Navy officers were describing the Air force as the Cinderella of the military.
– To this, the Air force officer replied” I don’t know a lot about Cinderella except the fact that she had two ugly sisters”.

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
-Doughnut Who?
Doughnut forget to close the door!

Drunk guy in a bar, next to him some twins.
The guy stares at them really confused for quite a while until of the twin finally says to him “It’s okay, you are not *that* drunk. We are twins”.
To which the guy responds: “What, all four of you?”

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