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Funny jokes in 2025

Whats the first thing Michael Jackson does when he spawns in on Minecraft?
-He punches a trhee-hee

The Patriots asked the Seahawks: “Do you want to win the Super Bowl?”
– The Seahawks replied: “Nah, we’ll pass.”

What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?
– Skele tons!
– Stay spooky my dudes

What would you name a film about a chef rat with allergies?
– Rat-a-choo-ille.

What did the Gen Z baker yell when he tossed the dough?
– YEEST

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
-Supplies!

Never date an apostrophe
-They’re too possessive.

What’s the similarity between 6th Sense and Titanic?
– Icy dead people.

Did you know corduroy pillows are in style?
-They’re making headlines.

The FBI was following a furry.
– They were on his tail.

What do aliens on the metric system say?
-“Take me to your liter.”

Why don’t astronauts keep their jobs for very long?
– Because as soon as they start they get fired!

What do ghosts like to eat in the summer?
-I Scream.

Why was the nurse tip-toeing around the medicine cabinet?
-She was scared of waking up the sleeping pills.

Pharmacists find their work to be very encapsulating.

What is Mario’s favorite state?
– Luigiana

(My niece told me this joke last night)

What do you do when you’ve finished giving the dog a bath?
– Pull the pug out.

When I’m older and can afford it, I want to commission an artist to make a bust of me
-But that’s getting a head of myself.

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