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Funny jokes in 2025

A man is pulled over by a police officer for a broken headlight. The cop looks in the car and sees a collection of knives on the
backseat. “Sir,” he says. “Why do you have all those knives?”
“They’re for my juggling act,” the man replies.
“Prove it,” says the cop.
The man gets out of the car and begins juggling the knives just as Sven and Ole drive by.
“Cripes,” says Ole, “I’m glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety test look pretty hard.”

Which is the only animal that aliens know of?
– Cows, because only cows can be seen jumping over the moon.

What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation?
– They grin and bear it.

I asked my dog last night what he was doing outside the house. He told me that he couldn’t find his hus-key (house key).

I dated a furry once
– The relationship didn’t work out, she was a cheetah

Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
-Because they will never meet.

Ole, Sven and Lars die in a tragic Lutefisk accident. They are met by God on the stairway to heaven. God says, “There are
3,000 steps to heaven. It’s very serious up there. I’ll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to
hell.”
So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, Lars laughs out loud and goes straight to hell. Ole
and Sven look at each other nervously. On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and goes
to straight to hell.
On the 3,000th step God tells the last and best joke. Ole doesn’t laugh and proceeds to the gate. Suddenly, Ole bursts out
laughing hysterically. God asks, “What are you laughing about?”.
Ole replies, “Oh dat’s funny. I yust got da first yoke!”

Lena asks Ole, “Ole if I were to die first, would you remarry?”
“Vell,” says Ole, “I’m in good health, so why not?”
“Would she live in my house?”, asks Lena
“It’s all paid up, so yes.” Replies Ole.
“Would she drive my car?”
“It’s new, so yes.”
“Would she use my golf-clubs?”
“No. She’s left-handed.”

Why didn’t the sun go to college?
-He already had a million degrees.

What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
– Can you please be more Pacific?!

Where do ghosts like to go swimming?
– Lake Eerie or the Dead Sea!

I’m excited for Minecraft’s caves&cliffs update
-But it will probably have its ups and downs.

What is blue, but not heavy?
-Light blue.

What is a ghost’s favorite soccer position?
-Ghoul keeper.

What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
-COOOOOOOALL!

Why was the fraction skeptical about marrying the decimal?
-Because he would have to convert.

Why did the king go to the bathroom?
-He wanted to sit on the throne.

How do modern-day pirates keep in touch?
-SEA-mail.

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