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One liner jokes in 2025

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather…
-Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It started off badly,
-but by the end I really liked it…

I have the world’s largest collection of seashells,
-you may have seen it, I keep it scattered on beaches all over.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step
-he is too old to go anywhere.

Onions make me sad.
A lot of people don’t realize that.

My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge.
-We’ll see about that.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather..
-Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Don’t talk to me about Valentine’s Day.
-At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass.

am originally from Indiana.
-I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana — mafia.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.
-She seemed surprised.

When life gives you melons,
-you might be dyslexic.

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor.
-I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

It’s not that I’m afraid to die,
-I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
– It gets toad away.

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