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Ole and Lena jokes in 2025

Lena was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket near Boyceville, WI. When she went before the judge he asked her,
“What did you steal?’ Lena replied, “A can of peaches.”
The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied that there were six. The judge said, ‘Then I will give
you six days in jail.”
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, Ole stood up, and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, “What is it?”
Ole said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

Ole said to his wife, “Lena, what would you do if I won da lottery?”
Lena thought for a minute and replied, “I’m sorry Ole, I would take half and leave you.”
Ole looked back at his lottery ticket, “Great, I won twelve dollars. Here’s six. I’ll miss you.”

Ole and Lena are on the patio barbequing when Ole says to her, “Lena your butt is getting pretty big. Ya, it’s even bigger
than da BBQ grill!”
Lena is not amused.
Later that night in bed, Ole asks Lena, “Say, do ya want to, vell ya know?” Lena turns away and grunts.
“What’s wrong?” asks Ole.
Lena answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire-up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?”

Lena and Margrit walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks, “Are you two sisters?”
Lena chuckled and replied, ” No, we aren’t even Catholic.”

Sven & Ole were working for the city of Minneapolis. Sven would dig a hole – he would dig, dig, dig. Ole would come along
and fill the hole – fill, fill, fill. Sven and Ole worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.
A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn’t believe how hard these men were working, but couldn’t understand
what they were doing. Finally, he had to ask them.
He said to Sven the hole digger, “I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner
comes along behind you and fills it up again!”
Sven, replied, “Yeah, I suppose it does look funny, but Lars, da guy who plants da trees is sick today.”

Ole tried to sell his car. He was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on it.
One day, he told his problem to a Sven who worked at the gas station. Sven told him, “Ole, der’s a way ta make da car
easier ta sell, but it ain’t legal.”
“Dat don’t matter,” replied Ole, “If I only can sell the car, dat’s ok.”
“Okay,” said Sven. “Here’s da address of a frienda mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell em I sent you and he vill turn da
counter in yer car back ta 50,000 miles. Den it von’t be a problem ta sell yer car anymore.”
The following weekend, Ole made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, Sven asked Ole, “Vell Ole, did ya
sell yer car?”
“No,” replied Ole, “Vy should I ya dummy? Now it only has 50,000 miles on it.”

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