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Ole and Lena jokes in 2025

Lena comes into the kitchen to talk to her husband and says, “Ole just look at me. My legs are heavy, my thighs are getting
big, and my boobs are sagging. I could really use a complement right about now.”
Ole replies, “Lena your eyesight is a good as ever!”

Sven, Lars and Ole are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they
can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. Sven immediately jumps off the bridge
and yells “Eagle!” He turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. Lars jumps off the bridge and yells out “Salmon!” He
turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn.
Ole is at this point so excited that he jumps off the bridge without thinking of his wish. He panics. “Crap!”

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. They all went in at the
same time. After only two minutes the Dane came running out. Five minutes later the Swede stumbled out the door. After
ten minutes, all the pigs ran out.

This absolutely incenses the devil. He can barely see straight. He finally comes up with a plan to set these two straight.
These two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives, so he decides to turn off all the heat. The next
morning, the temperature in hell is below zero, icicles are hanging off the ceilings, people are shivering so much that they
don’t even have the strength to complain. The devil smiles and heads over to check on Ole & Sven.
He arrives and finds the two back in their parkas, hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, and giving
each other hi-fives. The devil is now quite dumbfounded, “I just don’t understand, I turn up the heat and you’re happy. Now
I turn off the heat, it’s freezing and you’re still happy. Why?”
Ole and Sven stop their celebration and look at the devil with a surprised look and say “Vell, don’t ya know, hell froze over…
dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl!”

Ole goes to the doctor and says, “Everywhere I touch with my finger hurts.”
The doctor asks “What do you mean?”
So Ole shows him what he means. He touches his knee and says “Ouch!” Then he touches his chest and says, “Ouch!” Then
he touches his shoulder, “Ouch!”
The doctor looks at Ole and shakes his head. “Ole you dummy, you got a broken finger!”

Sven is at work one day, when he notices that Ole is wearing an earring.
Sven walks up to Ole and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”
Ole responds sheepishly, “Don’t make such a big deal out of this, it’s only an earring.”
Sven falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So how long have you been wearing one Ole?”
Ole responds, “Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”

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