Ole and Lena jokes in 2025

Ole and Lena have six children. As a joke, Ole began to call his Lena “mother of six” rather than by her first name.
Lena is amused at first. But a few years down the road, she grows tired of it. “Mother of six,” Ole would say, “what’s for
dinner tonight? Get me a beer!” Lena gets very frustrated.
Finally, while attending a party with her, Ole jokingly yells out, “Mother of six, I think it’s time to go!”
Lena immediately shouts back, “I’ll be right with you, father of four!”

Ole realizes that it’s lunchtime, little Ole is getting very hungry, and Lena is in the shower. So he pokes his head in to ask,
“Lena, vat should I feed little Ole for lunch?”
“That’s up to you,” replied Lena. “There’s all kinds of food. Why don’t you pretend I’m not home?!”
A few minutes later Lena’s cell phone rang and she hops out of the shower to answer it.
“Yeah, hi honey, dis is Ole, vat should I feed little Ole for lunch?”

Ole went to the doctor for a physical. After Ole was dressed the doctor came in and said “I am sorry Ole, but you are very
sick and have only a few weeks to live”.
Ole went home with a heavy heart to tell Lena the news. After Ole told Lena he sat in his easy chair and Lena went to the
kitchen. Soon a heavenly aroma came from the kitchen. Lena was making his favorite cookies! “Lena must really love me” he thought. Ole went into the kitchen and started to take a cookie. Lena slapped his hand away and said “Get avay! Dese
cookies aren’t for you, der for da funeral!”

The Swedes and the Norwegians had a football game, starting at 10 a.m. For two hours they played a scoreless game.
When the lunch bell rang at high noon, the Norwegians walked off the field to go home for lunch.
Three plays later, the Swedes scored

Ole and Lena have six children. As a joke, Ole began to call his Lena “mother of six” rather than by her first name.
Lena is amused at first. But a few years down the road, she grows tired of it. “Mother of six,” Ole would say, “what’s for
dinner tonight? Get me a beer!” Lena gets very frustrated.
Finally, while attending a party with her, Ole jokingly yells out, “Mother of six, I think it’s time to go!”
Lena immediately shouts back, “I’ll be right with you, father of four!”

Ole and Lena are sitting on their porch and Ole is enjoying a beer. Ole says, “I love you.”
Lena turns to Ole and says, “Ole is dat you talking or da beer talking?”
Ole says, “Dat’s me talking to da beer!”

Ole went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy dis TV,” he told the salesman.
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Norwegians,” he replied.
Ole hurried home and put on a hat and fake mustache, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy dis
TV.”
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Norwegians,” he replied.
“Darn, he recognized me,” Ole thought.
Ole waited a few days, put on a complete disguise and approached the salesman again. “I would like to buy dis TV!”
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Norwegians,” he replied.
Frustrated, Ole exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a Norvegian?”
“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

Sven and Ole were busy shingling a roof when Sven noticed that Ole was throwing away about half of the nails.
Sven asked, “vy are ya trowing avay all dose nails”?
“Vell, dey got da heads on da wrong ends!”, replied Ole.
“Ole, you sure are stupid. Dose nails are for da udder side of da roof!”

Ole gives Lena a new cell phone for Christmas. The next day she’s at Wal-Mart and the phone rings. Ole is on the phone and
asks her how she likes her new cell phone.
Lena replies, “Great Ole but howda know I was at da Wal-Mart?

During a bank robbery, the thief’s mask slipped off. He fixed it and asked a hostage.
“Did you see my face?” The hostage had, so the thief shot him. He asked the next hostage, same result.
The thief scowls at Ole and asks him if he saw his face.
“No, but I tink my wife got a good look at you.”

Little Ole asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”
Ole replies, “That’s disgusting son. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner!”
After dinner Ole asks, “Now, son, what did you vant to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” little Ole says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Lars: “Ole, stand in fronna my car and tell me if da turn signals are vorking”.
Ole: “Ya, No, Ya, No, Ya, No, Ya, No….”

A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a police line-up. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted,
“Yep, dat’s her!”

One day Ole came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in sexy lingerie.
“Ole, you can tie me up and do anything you want!”, Lena declared.
So Ole tied her up and went golfing

On Lena’s birthday, Ole decided to wash clothes for once to make her happy. Soon after entering the laundry room, he
yelled, “Lena, what setting do I use on da vashing machine?”
“It depends,” Lena replied. “What does it say on one of your shirts?”
“University of Oslo.” shouted Ole.

One particular Sunday Ole was lying back in the hammock and, having just returned from church with Lena, he was feeling a
little religious.
“God,” said Ole, “Ven you made Lena, vy did you make her so nice and round and so pleasant ta hold?”
Suddenly a voice from above said, “So you would love her, Ole.”
“Vell then vy, oh vy,” asked Ole, “vy Lord did you make her so stupid?”
“So she would love YOU,” said the voice

Ole and Sven are standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. Suddenly Sven sees in the distance a funeral procession
coming. Sven reels in turns, toward the road, places his fish pole over his shoulder and stands at attention until it passes by
Ole says “Vy Sven dat vas such a respectful ting to do. I am really proud of you for doing it.”
Sven says “Sure Ole, but do ya know I vas married to dat voman for tirty-five years”.

One day Ole came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in sexy lingerie.
“Ole, you can tie me up and do anything you want!”, Lena declared.
So Ole tied her up and went golfing.