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Ole and Lena jokes in 2024
Ole and Lena jokes are a type of joke that have been shared for decades by Scandinavian Americans. These jokes focus on the imaginary lives of the characters Ole and Lena, or Sven and Ole, and their misadventures and misunderstandings. They are most popular in locations that Scandinavian immigrants laid roots and the tradition remains.
Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple hours Sven says, “This ain’t no fun. How come da girls aren’t friendly to
me?”
“Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a big potato in your swim trunks, dat would help.”
So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, “I tried vat you told me with da potato, but it doesn’t help.”
“Um, Sven, you’re supposed to put da potato in da FRONT!”
Ole answered the phone one day and came back to the living room crying.
“Vell, Ole! Vat in da vorld is da matter?” asked the sympathetic Lena.
“I yust had bad news, Lena,” Ole replied, “My fadder yust died!!”
Just then the phone rang again, Ole went to answer it and came back crying again.
“Vell, now, Ole, vat is da matter?” asked Lena.
“Dat vas my brudder.” said Ole. “His fadder yust died too!”
Ole and Sven are working on a barn. The wind comes up and blows their ladder over. Ole asks Sven, “How are ve going ta
get down?”
Sven looks around the roof for a while then says, “Well ders a manure pile on dat side a da barn ve could jump in to soften
da landing.”
Ole said, “OK Sven, but you go first, it vas your idea!” So Sven jumps off into the manure. Ole yells down to him, “How deep
is it Sven?”
Sven yells back, “Its only up to my ankles!” So Ole jumped down too and they both climb out of the manure pile.
Ole turns to Sven and said, “Sven vat da hell did you mean it vas only up ta your ankles? It vas up ta my EARS!”
Sven replies, “Ya, but I jumped in head first.”
Lena tells Ole, “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?”
Ole seems puzzled, “How can I do dat? I don’t even know her.”
Ole is inconsolable after his dog goes missing. Lena suggests that he take out an ad in the newspaper, which he does.
“Well, what did you write in the ad?” asks Lena.
“Here boy!”, Ole replies
One fine spring day Ole decided to take Lena for a drive in his new car. As they were driving through town, a policeman
pulled them over and told Ole that he was doing 50 miles an hour in a 30 zone.
“Oh, no”, Ole protested. “I vas only doing tirty Officer.”
“No, you were doing fifty”, replied the cop.
“Really, Officer, I vas only doing tirty”, Ole replied stubbornly.
“Well”, bellowed the cop, “I clocked you doing FIFTY!”
At that point, Lena, sitting in the back seat and trying to be helpful, spoke up. “Officer…you really shouldn’t argue vit Ole
ven he’s been drinking.”
Ole and Lena were lying in bed one night when the phone rang, Ole answered it and Lena heard him yell, “Vell, how da hell
should I know, dats over 2,000 miles away” and he hung up.
Lena say’s “who vas dat Ole?”
Ole say’s “Hell if I know, some guy vants ta know if da coast is clear.”
Minnesota’s worst air disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a
Norwegian cemetery here early this morning.
Ole and Sven, working as search and rescue workers, have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as
digging continues into the night.
Ole went to the Doctor because he was feeling a little sick. After a few tests the Doctor told Ole, “I’m sorry to tell you that
you have a rare disease that is incurable and you are going to die in 6 months. But to help you out I’m going to prescribe
that you move in with your mother-in-law.”
Ole replied, “Criminy, dat’s bad Doc, but vy should I move in vit my old mudder-in-law.”
The Doc said, “Because that will be the longest 6 months of your life.”
One Sunday morning, the Lutheran pastor noticed Ole standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It
was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The old Norwegian had been staring at the
plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside Ole, and said quietly, ‘Good morning Ole.’
‘Good morning Pastor,’ he replied, still focused on the plaque. ‘Pastor, vat is dis?’ The pastor said, ‘Well, it’s a memorial to
all the men and women who died in the service. Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Finally, Ole’s voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, ”Vich service, da 8:30 or da 10:45?”
Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send someone out right away.
“Where do you live?” asked the operator.
Ole answered, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.”
“Can you spell that for me?” the operator asked.
There was a long pause and finally Ole said, “How about if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?”
Ole tried hard but failed at being an inventor. His inventions included:
1. The inflatable dart board.
2. Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses.
3. A book on how to read.
4. The solar-powered flashlight.
5. A screen door for a submarine.
6. An Automatic parachute that opens on impact.
7. Helicopter ejection seats.
Ole and Lars go ice fishin. Ole pulls out his new thermos and Lars says to him, “Ole, whatcha got der?”.
Ole says, “Well Lars, dis here’s a thermos. It keeps hot tings hot, and it keeps cold tings cold.”
After awhile, Lars gets curious and says, “Vell Ole, whatcha got in dat der thermos?”
Ole says, “Vell Lars, I got a popsicle, and two cups a coffee.”
Ole was driving home from work when he was pulled over for speeding. Two days later he was given another ticket by the
same officer for speeding on the same road.
“So,” the officer asked, “Ole, have you learned anything today?!”
Ole said. “Ya, I learnt I need to take a different vay home from verk!”
Ole and Lena visit New York City. Caught in traffic on East 46th, a homeless person starts washing the windshield. Ole rolls
down the window.
“Eh how’s it going?” the homeless guy says.
“Ohhh it’s OK.” Ole says.
“Hey where are you folks from?”
“Ohh ve’re from Minnesota.”
“Ohhh Minnesota, I’ve been there. I met the ugliest woman I ever saw in Minnesota!”
Lena asks “Vat’s he saying Ole?”
“Ohhh he says he knows you Lena.”
Ole was driving in traffic when he was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the
Ole’s car and asked, “Are you going to Oslo?”
“Sure,” answered Ole, “Do you need a lift?”
“Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back which
have to be delivered to the Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you
possibly take them to the zoo for me? I’ll give you fifty dollars for your trouble.”
“I’d be happy to,” said Ole.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of Ole’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they
went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of Oslo when suddenly he was horrified. There was Ole
walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of the crowd.
With a screech of brakes, he pulled off the road and ran over to the Ole. “What the hell are you doing here?” he demanded,
“I gave you fifty dollars to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.”
“Ya, I know ya did,” said Ole, “but yust as ve got der it looked like it vas goin ta rain, so ve decided to go see a movie
instead.”
Ole walks into a pharma
Ole and Sven walk into a bar and they order some beers. After drinking his, Ole looks into his shirt pocket. They order
another round and Ole looks into his shirt pocket again. This goes on for a few more rounds.
Sven is curious, “Ole, why do you look in your pocket after each beer? “Whatcha got in der?”
Ole confesses, “I have a picture of my Lena in der, and when she starts ta look good, I go home.”
Ole decides he will go into town to buy some groceries. So off he goes. Within a few minutes, he comes to a river. He looks
up and down and across, but cannot see either a bridge or a spot to cross. Just as he is about to give up and go home, his
good friend Sven arrives on the other side. Ole calls out and asks how to get to the other side. Sven is surprised by the
question. He looks up the river and down, then down at his feet and then across at Ole.
Sven responds: “You are on da udder side!
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Where Are They Most Used?
There are some areas of the USA that these are most common, though they are considered to be a traditional Scandinavian joke and have been passed down through families over the years. Areas in the upper Midwest of the US are the most common regions to hear the best Ole and Lena jokes. This includes areas of Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, and both North and South Dakota. As immigrants settled in certain areas to build their lives, they often found friends or family to live near, helping to ensure they have a community around to support each other. In these areas the top Ole and Lena jokes as they are traditionally shared among friends and family, keeping them not limited to the area but more well known in some regions than others.Sweden and Norway are not places that you would expect to hear any corny Ole and Lena jokes, as they are based around the experience of people who moved to a new place and found difficulties in learning the language and systems and fitting in. A large part of their popularity growth occurred due to their presence in Ole and Lena joke books that were created at one time. Full of the funniest Ole and Lena jokes, or Ole and Lena and Sven jokes, they allowed for more people to come in contact with them and expand the demographics of those familiar with them. Their current use may be somewhat limited to older generations, however like many traditional and familiar things, they are still passed down families and some will find them amusing and continue to share them.
What Can be Learned from Them?
As silly Ole and Lena jokes are centred around their experiences adapting to a new way of life in a new location, they can be used to shed light on the experiences of immigrants and of those who move to begin again. Many cute Ole and Lena jokes are stories based upon miscommunications, misunderstandings, and language or other barriers. While exaggerated for affect, they are rooted in what are often shared or familiar experiences that people have had when they arrive somewhere new and are not fully fluid in the language or the cultural expectations. Immigration jokes, language jokes, and miscommunication jokes are all funny for the same reasons.Ole and Lena jokes for kids are presented as a silly story of people who are learning about new things, and that are meeting new people. They are intended to be light hearted and quaint, and are not intended to insult any one or to make fun of anyone, but rather to show understanding.
Why Are They Funny?
One liner Ole and Lena jokes are funny because of their kind jest about the misadventures that can be had by people. They are relatable, as everyone at some point has a miscommunication or can’t find the right words to say what they mean. Either presented as a longer story or as a shortened version of a longer story, they are easy to relate to and to find truth or acceptance in their innocence. Their intended purpose was to help people to stay self aware and notice how they are interacting with other people and places, as well as to show that those things happen to many people and can happen to anyone.They are fun, light, and engaging, without becoming insulting or making fun of anyone. Cute Ole and Lena jokes are enjoyable for anyone who has to move or visit somewhere new and is learning their way around the new location. They are learning about language, culture, activities, and more. With so much to learn about and things to adapt too, there are sure to be funny stores, and some of these funny stories, based upon real or expected experiences, make the best Ole and Lena jokes.