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Octopus Jokes 🐙 in 2025

What type of keyboard does an octopus use?
– SQWERTY

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
– Ten-tickles!

What’s an octopus’s favourite number?
– 3.14, octo-pi!

Where do female sea creatures keep their money?…
– In their octopurse.

What did the octopus use to make jelly? …
– From ocean currants.

What sea creatures say hello sixteen times?…
– Two octopuses shaking hands!

What do humans and octopus have in common?
– Two sets of forearms (or four arms, in the case of the octopus!)

An octopus went off to war It’s a good thing that he was well-armed.

Who held the baby octopus for a ransom?…
– Squidnappers.

What do you call an octopus who thinks the glass if always half full?…
– An octomist.

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
– I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand….

What do you get if you cross an octopus and a frog?
– A croak-topus!

An octopus held up the local bank…
– Apparently he was well armed.

How do we know that octopuses can’t commit crimes?…
– They don’t have a bad bone in their bodies.

How does an octopus propose to its sweetheart?…
– “I would like to ask for your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage.”

Why can’t an octopus commit a crime?
– They don’t have a bad bone in their body! (octopus don’t have bones)

Why is an octopus always positive?
– Because it always sees the octo-plus side of things!

A teacher asks the class to name six creatures that you might find in the sea.
– One of the pupils replies, “five octopuses and a herring”.

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