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Octopus Jokes 🐙 in 2025

A teacher asks the class to name six creatures that you might find in the sea.
– One of the pupils replies, “five octopuses and a herring”.

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?…
– An animal that milks itself.

Who held the baby octopus for a ransom?…
– Squidnappers.

What is an octopus’s favourite game?
– Squidditch!

Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]Cat:
– you’re one short pal

A chap goes to the cinema and is surprised to see an octopus sitting on the seat beside him.
– “How come you are here?” he asks.
– The octopus says “I enjoyed the book”.

What did the octopus receive from the chiropractor?
– A back kraken.

What do you call a lesbian octopus?
– A lickalotopuss.

Where does an octopus sleep?
– On the seabed!

An octopus politician offered to pay my debts if I voted for him.I guess it’s squid pro quo

How does a squid propose to its sweetheart?…
– “Will you cala-marry me?”

How do you call an octopus who plays guitar?
– A rock-topus!

Why is the octopus always bored?
– Because he never finds anything interest-ink!

I asked how much the creature that looked like an ill octopus cost and what it was.
– The chap said “Sick squid.”

What is a gathering of octopus called?…
– Octoposse.

Where does an octopus go to sing?…
– The choral reef!

What does the doctor say to an octopus who needs to lose weight?
– You need to go on a low-crab diet!

What do you call 8 x 3.14?
– … Octopi. (Pi Day Jokes)

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