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Octopus Jokes 🐙 in 2024

What did the squid sheriff put together to find the outlaw cowboy?…
– An octoposse.

What type of keyboard does an octopus prefer to use?…
– Sqwerty!

What does an octopus tell its girlfriend?
– You octopi my heart!

Why is the octopus always on time?
– Because he looks at the clock-topus!

People sometimes confuse the plural of octopus, it’s one octopus, two octopuses, 3.14 octopi.

What sea creatures say hello sixteen times?…
– Two octopuses shaking hands.

Why is the octopus the most popular animal?…
– Because it’s tenta-cool!How do you know if a squid has swallowed a clock?…
– You hear a tick tock-topus sound!

How does an octopus propose to its sweetheart?
– “I would like to ask for your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage.”

A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army.
– The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is.

What do you get if you cross a cat with an octopus?
– Arrested under the Animal Scientific Procedures Act 1986.

What game do octopuses play at Hogwarts?
– Squiddich

What do you call a Mexican crossed with an octopus?
– I don’t know, but it sure can pick lettuce.

Where does an octopus go to sing?
– The choral reef!

What do humans and octopuses have in common?
– Two sets of forearms

What has 72 arms and catches flies?…
– An octopus baseball team.

What do you call a creature with the head of a shark, some claws, the body of a dolphin and the tentacles of an octopus?…
– A crab-omination!

How do you know if an octopus is alive?
– You check its octo-pulse!

What do you call a group of squid?
– A squad!

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