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Octopus Jokes 🐙 in 2025

What story do octopus parents read to their kids?…
– Octopuss in boots.

Why is the octopus such a good cook?
– Because he’s a chef-alopod!

What do you call an octopus with a hat?…
– An octopus with a hat of course.

Why is the octopus the most popular animal?
– Because it’s tenta-cool!

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?…
– Because the octopus was well armed.

I heard on the news that the police were looking for a runaway octopus
– They said he was armed and dangerous

What do humans and octopus have in common?
– Two sets of forearms (or four arms, in the case of the octopus!)

An octopus went off to war It’s a good thing that he was well-armed.

Who held the baby octopus for a ransom?…
– Squidnappers.

What do you call an octopus who thinks the glass if always half full?…
– An octomist.

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
– I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand….

What do you get if you cross an octopus and a frog?
– A croak-topus!

An octopus held up the local bank…
– Apparently he was well armed.

How do we know that octopuses can’t commit crimes?…
– They don’t have a bad bone in their bodies.

How does an octopus propose to its sweetheart?…
– “I would like to ask for your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage.”

Why can’t an octopus commit a crime?
– They don’t have a bad bone in their body! (octopus don’t have bones)

Why is an octopus always positive?
– Because it always sees the octo-plus side of things!

A teacher asks the class to name six creatures that you might find in the sea.
– One of the pupils replies, “five octopuses and a herring”.

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