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Nurse Jokes 👩‍⚕️ in 2025

What is the main distinction between a nurse and a thirsty vampire?
-It is nothing! They both function during the night-time when most people are in bed, and draw their blood..

What did the blood donor say to the nurse?
-“I feel super tired; it is such a draining process.”

What did the senior nurse say to the patient?
-OB nurses are at your cervix in nursing school.

What did the night nurse say when the doctor asked if she took the patient’s temperature?
-No, is it missing?

What did the bucket tell the nurse when she asked what happened?
-I am here to see the doctor; I have a pail face.

Why were the nurses so suspicious of the patient?
– He had a lot of secret-ion.

Did you read about the night nurse who was squashed by a load of books?
-The only person she could blame was hershelf.

What did the nurse say when a patient who had multiple vegetables stuck to his body asked, “What is wrong with me?”
-You’re not eating properly.

What were the nurses discussing at the medical conference? One of them asked, “Heard about the germ…?
-Oh never mind, I should not be spreading it around.”

What kind of nurse does not require any equipment to draw blood?
-Nurseferatu.

What would you call a night nurse that cared more about herself than her patient’s health?
-Nurse-issitic.

Why was the ambitious nursing student collecting skulls?
-She would do it to get a-head of everyone.

Heard about the man who cut his fingers using an electric saw?
-When a nurse asked about the cut-off fingers, the man said, “I don’t have the fingers to pick them up.”

What happened to the kid who accidentally swallowed a pen?
-The nurse asked him to use a pencil until the doctor arrives and see him.

Do you know why that nurse joined HIPPA?
-I would tell you, but I don’t want to take the accountability.

What were the three nurses saying about the invisible patient?
– We should tell him that the doctor can’t see him right now.

How does Thor’s nurse treat him back to health?
-She Norses him through the night.

What’s It Called When A Hospital Runs Out Of Maternity Nurses?
-A mid-wife crisis!

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