Nurse Jokes 👩‍⚕️ in 2024

Why was the nurse tip-toeing around the medicine cabinet?
-She was scared of waking up the sleeping pills.

Why nurses are always so calm?
-Because of patients.

How many nurses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-None, they just get a nursing student to do it.

Why was the squirrel such a good night nurse?
-He could handle the ER going nuts after midnight.

Did you get to know about the nurse who injured his entire left side?
-Don’t worry, he’s all right now.

What did the nurse advise the patient got heartburn after eating a birthday cake
-She advised him to take the candles off first

What is the proper way to use a stress ball?
-Throw it at the last person who made you mad.

What is the main commonality between a nurse and an elf that works at the North pole?
-Both of them work the whole year, but another person gets all the credit.

How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse?
-Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its a$$ chewed!

What did the cookie say to the nurse?
-I am feeling crumby.

What did the nurse said when a boy told her he stood on a LEGO?
-Try to block out the pain.

Why was the nurse found to be so nervous?
-Because it was his first shot in the hospital.

What did the nursing student mean by pathological??
-The logical reason for choosing the right path.

How do you handle Metronidazole?
– Carefully… because it’s Flagyl!

Why did the senior nurse appreciate the new nurses’ work?
-Her alphabetized list of organ donors was well organ-ized.

Why are night nurses such bad dancers?
-Their circadian rhythm is generally off.

Where do boats go when they are sick?
-To the dock.

What did the patient ask when the nurse informed him that he had a-cute appendix?
-“Compared to whom?”