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New Years jokes 🎇 in 2025

What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day?
-The New Year’s Eve clean-up crew.

What food should you avoid on New Year’s?
– Ifirecrackers

I see no need to make more New Year’s resolutions
– when the ones already on the books aren’t being enforced.

What is the snowman’s New Year’s resolution?
– To chill out more.

Hoping this will be the year they drop Ryan Seacrest
– from that building in Times Square.

My New Year’s resolution was to read more,
-so I turned on the subtitles on my TV.

What is a New Year’s resolution?
-Something that goes in one year and out the other.

My New Year’s resolution is to get better at pretending to know the words to
-Auld Lang Syne

Who has time to party on New Year’s Eve?
– It takes me all evening to set my clocks ahead a year.

What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve?
-Social Security.

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