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Neck jokes in 2025

Why are vampires so obsessed with necks?
– Because they were raised by a neck romancer.

I brought my dead girlfriend back to life by passionately kissing her neck
– …I guess you could say I’m a neck-romancer

How do you make a Suicidal guy go bungie jumping?

– Tie the bungie cord around his neck.

Who knew I would get kicked out of the zoo for finding out if a giraffe’s neck was strong enough to hold a grown man?

My husband was in so much pain and could not turn his neck.
– Since he could not look sideways, I told him to look forward to a massage later.

I don’t know why employers don’t like neck tattoos
– It shows you can sit in one spot for hours while tiny needles are jabbed into your skin, which is what every meeting I’ve ever been in feels like.

How do you circumcise a red neck?
– Kick his sister in the jaw

My owl turned 180 today.

– He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.

A giraffle is a chance to win a spotted, long-necked pet.

Someone told me they were going to hit me with the neck of a guitar.
– I asked, “is that a fret?”

What do you have when your mother in law is up to her neck in cement?
– Not enough cement

Go commit neck rope

Every morning clowns wake up with sore necks.
– This is because they sleep funny.

As the man gently and ever so slowly slid his hand across his wife’s neck, below, under, all over her neck, making his way to her shoulders, she woke up. Whispering in a seductive voice she asked why he stopped.
– The husband whispered “I found the remote honey. Go back to sleep, the games on.”

Why do the french wear their mask on the neck?
– They don’t want cou vide .

Did you know that a giraffes neck is strong enough to support the weight of a human climbing on it?
– Anyway, I got banned from my local zoo today

why do giraffes have such long necks?

– Because their feet smell!

You’re stretching the truth.

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