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Neck jokes in 2025

And the award for the best neck wear of the year goes to…
– It’s a tie!

Some bloke just told me he was gonna smack me with the neck of his guitar….
– I said, is that a fret?

How do you save your wife from drowning?

– Take your foot off of her neck.

There is no cure for reptile dysfunction.
– Turtles who suffer with this will never get their necks out of their own shell.

Are you having a giraffe (laugh)?

Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?
– Because their heads are so far from their body

Are you paralyzed neck-down?
– Move your hands above your neck

How to get your woman to come upstairs say you are necked

The bodies are really starting to pile up, the sound before I throw them in the pile is so satisfying.
– I have been so happy since I learned how to crack a neck.

Saw a vampire sprint race the other day.
– It finished neck and neck.

Why does Isabelle hang on the neck of a cow?
– Because she Isabelle

There are some sounds that everyone loves…
– Shoes on gravel
– Crackling of fire
– The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you
– Cats purring

Why did DMX freak out when he put on a crew neck sweater for the first time?
– Because he could not find the hood.

My girlfriend has such a neck fetish,
– she barely cares about me she just likes my neck. She’s a necromancer.

Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen’s favorite color?
– M’genta

What’s the difference between a child and a book?

– One doesn’t scream when you snap it’s neck.

Never get into an argument with your chiropractor. Spending the rest of your life looking over your shoulder will make you regret it.

Up to my neck in it!

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