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Neck jokes in 2025

A guillotine is a drink that will instantly numb you from the neck down.

Neck Hands Foot Arms Body Head
– This is how the newspaper headlines ran on the day John Neck stepped down to give the job of CEO of the gun manufacturer to Michael Foot.

I went to this guy’s house and there were neck garments with hogs on everywhere.
– The place was a pigs tie.

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigs tie.
– There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

And the award for the best neck wear of the year goes to…
– It’s a tie!

Whats black, white, and red all over?
– a penguin in a blender

There is no chance of someone waking up with a sore neck if the coffin has a soft pillow.

It’s a tall order.

What did DMX say when he first wore a crew neck sweater?
– Where the hood, where the hood, where the hood at?!

Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck?
– Because he was a neck-romancer….

What is a vampire’s favourite animal?
– A giraffe.

They say you should never look back. Looking back makes your neck hurt.

A dictator complained fiercely about the neck wear he received.
– What a tie rant.

Men with neck tattoos used to make me nervous.
– Now they make me lattes.

I always wear my Stethoscope around my neck
– So in an emergency, it teaches people a valuable lesson about assumption

You’re a pain in the neck!

If you want to call the Dalai Lama, make sure you have the correct number.
– I called Dial-A-Llama and now own a goat with a very strange neck.

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
– Because their horns don’t work.

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