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Neck jokes in 2025

Why does a giraffe have a long neck?
– So it can reach it’s head.

Why did God give women legs?
1. To look at.
2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.

What do you call a woman who repairs your neck and is really good looking?
– A head turner.

Why did the clown have a sore neck?
– He slept funny.

Why do giraffes have such long necks?
– To get away from the smell of their feet.

I will never recommend Dr. Acula.
– I left his office with much worse pain in my neck than when I came in.

What do you call someone who resurrects dead people to kiss their necks?
– A Neckromancer.

Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?

– Because her neck was killing her.

Now that I can look back, I laugh.
– When my neck was broken it was not funny.

My job interview was not going well.
– I could see the employer did not like neck tattoos.
– I explained that a job is like a neck tattoo.
– It shows you can do the same task for hours, never flinch if you are jabbed with very painful criticism and work well with others who are not even trying to be nice.

It wasn’t much fun last year having a broken neck.
– But I can look back now and laugh.

Do you know where Chuck Norris stands on White Nationalists?
– On their necks.

(Bob holds Deric’s neck) Deric: “Water(what are) you doing?”

He takes a long time to swallow his pride.

Chap goes to the doctor and says “it hurts when I touch my neck, my arm or my chest”.
– The doctor says, “you’ve broken your finger”.

I’m not old. I woke up, I lifted my arms, I moved my knees, I turned my neck. Everything made the same noise: Crrrrrraaaaaaccccckkkk!
– So I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not old, I’m crispy!

Sometimes when I feel really lonely, I put a blade to my neck.
– The ladies like a clean shaven guy.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered
– “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

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