Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Neck jokes in 2024

My job interview was not going well.
– I could see the employer did not like neck tattoos.
– I explained that a job is like a neck tattoo.
– It shows you can do the same task for hours, never flinch if you are jabbed with very painful criticism and work well with others who are not even trying to be nice.

It wasn’t much fun last year having a broken neck.
– But I can look back now and laugh.

Do you know where Chuck Norris stands on White Nationalists?
– On their necks.

(Bob holds Deric’s neck) Deric: “Water(what are) you doing?”

He takes a long time to swallow his pride.

Chap goes to the doctor and says “it hurts when I touch my neck, my arm or my chest”.
– The doctor says, “you’ve broken your finger”.

I’m not old. I woke up, I lifted my arms, I moved my knees, I turned my neck. Everything made the same noise: Crrrrrraaaaaaccccckkkk!
– So I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not old, I’m crispy!

Sometimes when I feel really lonely, I put a blade to my neck.
– The ladies like a clean shaven guy.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered
– “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

If you agree to a beard growing contest, you will find you and your competition neck and neck.

And the award for the best neck wear of the year goes to…
– It’s a tie!

Some bloke just told me he was gonna smack me with the neck of his guitar….
– I said, is that a fret?

How do you save your wife from drowning?

– Take your foot off of her neck.

There is no cure for reptile dysfunction.
– Turtles who suffer with this will never get their necks out of their own shell.

Are you having a giraffe (laugh)?

Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?
– Because their heads are so far from their body

Are you paralyzed neck-down?
– Move your hands above your neck

How to get your woman to come upstairs say you are necked

Follow us on Facebook