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Mustache Jokes in 2025

What’s the best way of choosing which mustache style to grow?
– Eeny Meeny Miney Mo.

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My wife said my mustache brought out my personality.
-I replied, “Yeah, it’s growing on me”
(Thought of this one right before sleep, I’ll check on it in the morning)

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If you have a beard and wear robes, you’re a Wizard. If you have a goatee and wear robes, you’re a Sorcerer…
-…and if you have a mustache and wear robes, you’re not allowed near public schools.

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I moustache you a question…
-can you count the puns?

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What’s worse than a man having a small mustache that he doesn’t take care of?
-A man not having any mustache at all.

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Why do Italian boys always have mustaches?
-Because they want to be just like there mothers when they grow up.

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Why was the man with no facial hair in pain after shaving?
-His must-ached.

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I shaved my mustache after having kept it for a few years
-I hated the way I looked at first, but it’s growing on me.

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I didn’t like my mustache so I decided to shave it
-Changed my mind last minute though because it had really grown on me

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What would you call a mustache growing on someone’s cheek?
-A miss-tache!

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what do you call a person obsessed with japanese gaming consoles?
-A Wiib.
Don’t touch my mustache.

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Pithy saying from my Dad….
-When asked about growing a beard or mustache, his comment was…
“Why cultivate around your mouth what grows wild around your ass”

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I almost lost my moustache today.
-But it was right under my nose.

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The better groomed a man’s mustache,
-the better he takes care of himself in all other aspects of his life.

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My wife said she found my first gray hair, but I didn’t believe her for the longest time. Then when I was brushing my teeth this morning I saw it in the mirror, on the left side of my mustache.
-It was right under my nose this whole time.

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What did the bearded man say to his professor when he was running late?
– I mustache you a question but I’m running late.

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Conpliment someone on their mustache ….
-And suddenly she won’t talk to you.

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We should all make a joke togeather
– And start wearing Adolf’s legendary mustache

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