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Monkey Jokes 🐵 in 2024

What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
-A chipmunk.

How do u get a one-armed monkey down from a coconut tree?
-You wave at him

If there were no bananas, what fruit would monkeys choose?
-Ape-ricots.

What do you call a monkey who wins every sport?
-A chimpion.

Humans can catch diseases from monkeys and bats, but why not anteaters?
-Because they are filled with anty bodies.

What do you call a monkey with a wand and a broomstick?
-Hairy Potter

5 five little monkeys jumping on a bed
-One fell of and bumped his head mamma called Walmart and walmart said
We will give you a replacement

What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
-Baboom!

What do you call an angry monkey that loves fruit?
-Grr-ape.

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed monkey on a tricycle and a well-dressed monkey on a bicycle?
-Attire.

Why did the monkey cross the road?
-I Because the chicken had the day off.

What’s a monkey’s favourite drink?
-Chimpan-tea!

What’s a monkey’s favorite game?
-Hangman.

Two monkeys run a bath. One says, “ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah!”.
-The other says, “put some cold in it!”

What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
-Anything you want, he can’t hear you.

So I read a study the other day claiming that “humans eat more bananas than monkeys”
-Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Why don’t monkeys play cards on the savannah?
-Too many cheetahs around!

Where do monkeys go for a drink?
-The monkey bars!

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