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Monkey Jokes 🐵 in 2024

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards
-one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Where do monkeys get their gossip?
– On the ape vine.

What do you call a restaurant that throws food in your face?
-A Monkey Business.

If a monkey has 30 bananas in one hand and 40 bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
-Huge hands.

Humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
-In 2015 we ate over 74 million bananas and only 6 monkeys.

What do you tell a naughty monkey?
-Stop chimping about.

What did the monkey say after his tail got caught in the lawnmower?
-“Won’t be long now!”

What does a monkey wear while cooking?
-An ape-ron.

Roses are red violets are blue
-when i saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too

What’s furry and dangerous and lives in a tree?
-A monkey with a machine gun.

What do you call poorly monkeys?
-Gor-ILL-as.

What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
-A chipmunk.

How do u get a one-armed monkey down from a coconut tree?
-You wave at him

If there were no bananas, what fruit would monkeys choose?
-Ape-ricots.

What do you call a monkey who wins every sport?
-A chimpion.

Humans can catch diseases from monkeys and bats, but why not anteaters?
-Because they are filled with anty bodies.

What do you call a monkey with a wand and a broomstick?
-Hairy Potter

Two monkeys are in the bath.
-One turns to the other and says, “Oooo ooo aah aahh!”
The second monkey says, “Well, put some cold in then!”

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