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Monkey Jokes 🐵 in 2025

What do you call a man who can jump from tree to tree?
-A monkey’s uncle.

What do you call a monkey at the south pole?
-Lost!

Two monkeys are in the bath.
-One turns to the other and says, “Oooo ooo aah aahh!”
The second monkey says, “Well, put some cold in then!”

Why did King Kong climb the Empire State building?
-Because he couldn’t fit in the lift.

How do monkeys get down the stairs?
-They slide down the banana-ster.

What do you call a monkey that’s in charge of its tree?
-A Branch Manager!

What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
-Lost.

What did the old man tell the monkey that dropped a bar of gold ?
-A u dropped a banana.

What happens when you double cross a monkey?
-They go bananas.

What do monkeys do for laughs?
– They tell jokes about people.

In March, I found a monkey paw and used it to wish to work from home every day.
-I’m sorry, everybody.

What do you call an angry monkey?
– Furious George.

What do you call a flying monkey?
-A hot air baboon.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards
-one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Where do monkeys get their gossip?
– On the ape vine.

What do you call a restaurant that throws food in your face?
-A Monkey Business.

If a monkey has 30 bananas in one hand and 40 bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
-Huge hands.

Humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
-In 2015 we ate over 74 million bananas and only 6 monkeys.

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