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Money jokes 💰💲 in 2025

Uber lost over a billion dollars in the last six months so they’re asking their drivers to check between the seat cushions.

How can you get rich by eating?
– Eat fortune cookies.

I saw a sign that said “Watch for children,” and I said, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Iowa.
Iowa who?
Iowa you a dollar.

What’s the similarity between a dollar and the moon?
– It’s that both of them have 4 quarters.

I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money.

Personal financing is very…INTERESTing

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
– With Tyrannosaurus checks.

When does it start raining money?
– When there’s a change in the weather.

Why wasn’t the criminal able to steal all the money alone?
– Because she was banking on her friends to help her.

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage

How much money does a skunk have?
– One scent.

What did the penny say to its friend, the other penny?
– It said, “Let’s meet and make some cents”.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
– With Tyrannosaurus checks!

Where do penguins keep their money?
– In snowbanks.

What coin doubles in value when half is deducted?
– A half dollar

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Yolanda.
Yolanda who?
Yolanda me some money.

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