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Money jokes 💰💲 in 2025

Why did the one student swallow all her pennies?
– It’s because the teacher told her that she needed more cents.

The stock market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

What type of money do crabs use?
– Sand dollars!

Where does a penguin keep its money?
– In a snow bank.

Where did the frog put his money?
– It’s in the river bank.

How do you make money in a dog exercising business?
– It should be a walk in the park.

Is everything expensive or I’m just broke all the time?

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination

Why did the student swallow all his pennies?
– The teacher said he needed more sense.

What would you call it if you lend some money to a bison?
– I’d call it Buff-a-loan.

What did the flutist do when she found out that she was not making as much money as the cellist was making?
– She asked the cellist what her bass salary was.

Why do I keep paying the bills?
– It just encourages them to send more.

My wife’s credit card got stolen the other day. I haven’t bothered reporting it, though, because the thief spends much less than my wife.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hanover.
Hanover who?
Hanover your money.

What did the Dollars name their daughter?
– They named her Penny.

What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day?
– The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison?
– Buff-a-loan!

Where do fish keep their money?
– In a river-bank.

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