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Money jokes 💰💲 in 2025

What did the flutist do when she found out that she was not making as much money as the cellist was making?
– She asked the cellist what her bass salary was.

Why do I keep paying the bills?
– It just encourages them to send more.

My wife’s credit card got stolen the other day. I haven’t bothered reporting it, though, because the thief spends much less than my wife.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hanover.
Hanover who?
Hanover your money.

What did the Dollars name their daughter?
– They named her Penny.

What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day?
– The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison?
– Buff-a-loan!

Where do fish keep their money?
– In a river-bank.

If money started growing on trees, what season would become everyone’s favorite?
– Fall.

What would you call it if you invested a huge amount of money into a corn farm?
– You could call it a major stalk investment.

I am currently boycotting the companies that sell items I can’t afford.

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.

What did the dollar name its daughter?
– Penny.

How much money did the skunk have?
– It only had one scent.

Uber lost over a billion dollars in the last six months so they’re asking their drivers to check between the seat cushions.

How can you get rich by eating?
– Eat fortune cookies.

I saw a sign that said “Watch for children,” and I said, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Iowa.
Iowa who?
Iowa you a dollar.

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