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Money jokes 💰💲 in 2025

What ad did the safe company display on their billboard?
– “If your things get stolen, well it’s not our vault.”

Why did the man get caught just for accidentally dropping some money inside his washing machine?
– Probably because the police thought that he was laundering money.

Nothing says’ I love my dog’ quite like spending more money on his haircut than you do your own

“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” said the IRS auditor

Why did the little boy eat his cash?
– Because it was his dinner money!

Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
– Because she expected some change in the weather.

Where do polar bears go to keep their money safe?
– In snowbanks.

How much money do professional ice skaters usually make in a year?
– They make eight figures but they, unfortunately, can’t access that because all their accounts are frozen.

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
– He wanted cold hard cash!

Where do frogs deposit their money?
– In a river-bank.

Why shouldn’t you ask for money from the leprechauns?
– It’s because they can never help. They are always a little short.

I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

Why don’t cows have any money?
– Because farmers milk them dry.

How did the dinosaur pay his bill at the restaurant?
– With Tyrannosaurus checks!

What would you say if you became exhausted filling forms and calculating the amount of money you had to pay to your country?
– It had been a taxing day.

I am going to qualify for free shipping no matter how much it costs.

Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
– Because it had more cents

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