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Money jokes 💰💲 in 2025

What type of money do crabs use?
– Sand dollars!

Where does a penguin keep its money?
– In a snow bank.

Where did the frog put his money?
– It’s in the river bank.

How do you make money in a dog exercising business?
– It should be a walk in the park.

Is everything expensive or I’m just broke all the time?

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination

Why did the student swallow all his pennies?
– The teacher said he needed more sense.

What would you call it if you lend some money to a bison?
– I’d call it Buff-a-loan.

What did the flutist do when she found out that she was not making as much money as the cellist was making?
– She asked the cellist what her bass salary was.

Why do I keep paying the bills?
– It just encourages them to send more.

My wife’s credit card got stolen the other day. I haven’t bothered reporting it, though, because the thief spends much less than my wife.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hanover.
Hanover who?
Hanover your money.

What did the Dollars name their daughter?
– They named her Penny.

What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day?
– The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison?
– Buff-a-loan!

Where do fish keep their money?
– In a river-bank.

If money started growing on trees, what season would become everyone’s favorite?
– Fall.

What would you call it if you invested a huge amount of money into a corn farm?
– You could call it a major stalk investment.

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