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Money jokes 💰💲 in 2024

What kind of car does a sushi chef who makes a huge amount of money drive?
– A Rolls-Rice.

There’s nothing I’ve learned from being a parent that I couldn’t just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire.

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.

Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?
– He wanted to make a clean getaway.

Why is money also called dough?
– Well, because every person kneads it.

Where does Dracula store his money?
– Probably in the blood bank.

I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didn’t bother to report it
– because the thief spends less than me.

If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of credit card payments.

I saw a homeless guy on the street with a sign that said, “One day, this could be you.” I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he’s right.

Where do polar bears keep their money?
– In snow-banks.

What comes with a tail and a head but it’s not an animal?
– It’s a penny.

You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there’s no real difference between me and George Clooney.

What’s the best way to get in touch with your long-lost relatives? Win the lottery.

Why wasn’t the dead woman living well?
– It’s because she was dead broke.

Why did everyone warn the man when he said he wanted to invest all his money into a whipped cream factory?
– Because they all thought it was a huge whisk.

When does it rain money? When there is change in the weather.

The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.

What did the duck say after he went shopping?
– Put it on my bill.

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