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Money jokes 💰💲 in 2025

Why is money called dough?
– Because we all knead it!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
Cash me if you can.

Why was the student eating his dollar bill?
– It’s because his mother told her that it was for lunch.

If money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone’s favorite season?
– Fall.

What did the duck say after he went shopping?
– Put it on my bill!

Where does Dracula keep his money?
– In a blood bank.

What did the man say when his landlord told him that he’d come to talk to him about his high heating bill?
– The man told him, “Sure, my door’s always open.”

Did you hear about an ATM that got addicted to money?
– Heard it was suffering from withdrawals.

Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.

Why is dough another word for money?
– Because everyone kneads it.

Why did the student eat his dollar bill?
– His mother told him it was for lunch

What type of money do crabs pay their bills with?
– Sand dollars.

What would you call it if a bunch of crows started gathering money?
– It’d be called Crowdfunding.

What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak?
– February 14th.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
You’re nuts.

Why did the one student swallow all her pennies?
– It’s because the teacher told her that she needed more cents.

The stock market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

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