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Money jokes 💰💲 in 2025

Why don’t cows have any money?
– Because farmers milk them dry.

How did the dinosaur pay his bill at the restaurant?
– With Tyrannosaurus checks!

What would you say if you became exhausted filling forms and calculating the amount of money you had to pay to your country?
– It had been a taxing day.

I am going to qualify for free shipping no matter how much it costs.

Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
– Because it had more cents

Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
– Because they’re always a little short.

What would a duck say to the cashier after he was done shopping?
– He’d probably say, “Put it all on my bill”.

Why don’t the bees ever want to spend any money?
– It’s because they all are stingy.

If you want to get rich, why should you keep your mouth shut?
– Because silence is golden.

Why is money called dough?
– Because we all knead it!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
Cash me if you can.

Why was the student eating his dollar bill?
– It’s because his mother told her that it was for lunch.

If money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone’s favorite season?
– Fall.

What did the duck say after he went shopping?
– Put it on my bill!

Where does Dracula keep his money?
– In a blood bank.

What did the man say when his landlord told him that he’d come to talk to him about his high heating bill?
– The man told him, “Sure, my door’s always open.”

Did you hear about an ATM that got addicted to money?
– Heard it was suffering from withdrawals.

Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.

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