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Monday Jokes in 2025

why dont cannibals eat clowns?
– They taste funny.

Why does Santa hand out candy canes on Mondays?
– For encourage-mint.

Why couldn’t the ghost leave school on Monday?
– He was the school spirit!

Monday isn’t that bad
– just 48 hours ago it was a sadder-day!

One day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours
-The same as one Monday on Earth

In a galaxy far, far away, who is always eager to start a new work week?
-The Mondaylorians.

Why was the pirate excited for school on Monday?
-He had arrrrt class!

onday: Greg, Tuesday: Ian, Wednesday: Greg, Thursday: Ian, Friday: Greg, Saturday: Ian, Sunday
-Greg – The Greg-or-Ian calendar!

Two elderly men sitting in park
-Two elderly men sitting in park. Both are starting to have Alzheimer symptoms. They discuss as they usually do on Monday PMs.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Heymon.
– Heymon who?
Heymonday is here already!

Why can’t Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday lift Saturday or Sunday?
-Because Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are weak-days!

If a man arrived in a town with his horse on a Saturday and stayed there for one night, how is it possible that he arrived back home on Monday?
-The horse’s name was Monday!

I’m going my laundry on Monday instead of Sunday. I have the day off that day because of Martin Luther King day.
-In the spirit of the holiday, I am not going to separate my colors from my whites.

udging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed
– I’m assuming it’s Monday.

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