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Monday Jokes in 2025

I’ve decided to dress as a different bread everyday next week.
-Roll on Monday.

How is today Monday?
-It was Friday only a few hours ago…Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for I can always tell how good my weekend was by how many pictures I have to untag on Monday.

What day of the week are demons most tired?
-De-Monday!

What Do You Call Mondays without Any Zoom Meetings?
-Meetless Mondays

What’s the most annoying thing for NFL players starting the week?
-Monday morning quarterbacks…

Why did Selena Gomez dump The Weeknd on a Monday?
-She wished The Weeknd was longer.

Monday morning coffee is just as important as Friday night liquor…
-almost.

Why was Sunday afraid of Monday?
-Because Monday through Friday!

Mondays
-God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend.

Why was the acid so rude on Monday?
-He was a-mean-o-acid…

Last year I bought an instructional boxing DVD on Cyber Monday.
-This year I’m going Black Friday shopping.

I have a bad case of the Mondays only it’s everyday and it’s called existence
-Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.

Another Monday
-Uggggg……Another Monday is near. All I look forward to anymore is laying down and relaxing on the couch after a long day of sitting upright and being tense on the couch.

What did the cashew say on Monday?
– Mondays drive me nuts.

What did the cashew say on Monday morning?
-Monday always drives me nuts!

Thank God It’s Monday”
-My Liver

Why was the broom late for school on Monday?
-He over-swept!

I don’t understand it. My company told all employees to get tested for COVID-19, and to stay home until they get the test results. I got tested and called my boss to tell him I’m coming back to work on Monday. He asked me if I’m sure my test came back negative.
– I told him I was positive. He told me to stay home.

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