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Monday Jokes in 2025

What subject did the snake learn in school on Monday?
-Hiss-tory!

Why was the M&M excited to get to school on Monday?
– He wanted to be a Smartie!

I’ve been keeping this a secret for almost a year now because I didn’t want to lose friends
-I don’t work on Mondays.

I’m inviting everyone reading this, to join me in a session to think about Stephen King’s iconic shape-shifting clown.
– Come to think of it.

My wife gives me head every Monday.
-She won’t let any of Sunday’s roast chicken go to waste.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
– Toothy who?
Toothy the day after Monday.

Why did the magicians in class get the best mark on their test on Monday?
-They got all of the trick questions right!

Monday Morning……Rolling out of bed is easy
-Getting up off the floor is another story.

What did the elf learn at school on Monday this week?
-The elf-abet!

After all the rioting and destruction Microsoft stock ($MSFT) will take off on Monday
-Everyone will be looking for windows.

What do kids do on Mondays during vacation?
– The same thing they do every other day!

Why did the robot have some trouble focusing at school on Monday?
-He was a little rusty!

“Today its Sunday” Forward this to 15 friends,.. within 7 days you”ll get another Sunday.
-it really works… One of my friends ignored it and he got Monday within 24 hours

Where did the music teacher leave her keys on Monday?
-In the piano!

why dont cannibals eat clowns?
– They taste funny.

Why does Santa hand out candy canes on Mondays?
– For encourage-mint.

Why couldn’t the ghost leave school on Monday?
– He was the school spirit!

Monday isn’t that bad
– just 48 hours ago it was a sadder-day!

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