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Millennial jokes in 2025

Why do millennials prefer odd numbers?
– Because they can’t even.

I was born in 1988, so you might think I’m a millennial
– But please don’t assume my generation. I actually identify as a baby boomer.

“lol at baby boomers who say Millennials are all about ‘free stuff’ and ‘me me me’ while having a fleet of unpaid interns with college degrees doing the job they got paid a living wage to do with only a high school diploma thirty or forty years ago.”
– — @PubicZirconium

I always wondered why my millennial friend always writes in lower case letters…
– …apparently he is anti-capitalism.

Is there a problem in the world millennials don’t get blamed for?
– I don’t think so.

Wheel of Fortune
– Me: I’d like to buy a vowel
Pat: Aren’t you a millennial?
Me: *sigh* I’d like to rent a vowel

I asked a millennial hipster yoga teacher to leave the room…
– He said: “Nah a ma stay.”

Maybe if Millennials spent less time at brunch and more time on particle physics research,
– they could travel to 1974 and afford a house.
Just a thought.

A boomer, a millennial, and a Gen Z kid walk into a bar
– They sit down at a table and order a bottle of whiskey. The boomer pours a tall glass for himself and says, “There ain’t no social security left, so I’m pouring myself a big glass of whiskey!” Then, the millennial grabs the bottle an pours a medium sized glass and says, “I’ve got $100,000 in student loans and no one is hiring so I’M pouring myself a big glass of whiskey!” They both turn to the Gen Z kid and say “what about you? What are you drinking for?” The Gen Z kid holds up the empty bottle and says, “Nothing, you guys drank it all.”

A millennial walks into a bar
– I only know this because he shared stats with everyone.

Give a millennial a smartphone and he’ll live for a day…
– … any longer than that and he’ll become a mindless, soulless, social media zombie.

What do Millennials get for doing nothing?
– A trophy.

2 Millennials get into a counting contest
– The announcer says “okay Millennials, start counting from 1 to 2000!”

They both scoff and easily count that high within minutes. One says “I’m a Millennial, I could count to 2000 in my sleep!

The announcer, obviously worried that there will not be a winner, thinks up a plan.

He says “ok, now we are gonna change it up a little! You are going to count by ones” pointing to the first Millenial “and you are going to count by twos” pointing to the second.

The first Millennial starts off, counting by ones, and swiftly makes it to 2000 in only a few minutes. Everyone then turns to the second Millennial who starts off, “two… three?… six… nine…? The crowd gasps as the second Millennial obviously goes red with embarrassment. As the announcer gives the 1st place trophy to the first Millennial, the second Millennial groans and stomps her foot in frustration and yells “I JUST CAN’T EVEN!”

Someone told me that I have ‘Millennial humor’
– It’s comments like those that make me want to shoot myself and then go into debt.

What do you call a millennial acting like they grew up in the 70’s
– A hippiecrite.

How can the Democrats light a fire under Millennial voters?
– They can use Flint and Tinder

“When I make my last student loan payment in 2083 it’s over for y’all.”
– — @omohimoria_

As a millennial snowflake, if I can’t win,
– I at least expect a ribbon for precipitation.

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