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Millennial jokes in 2025

Give a millennial a smartphone and he’ll live for a day…
– … any longer than that and he’ll become a mindless, soulless, social media zombie.

What do Millennials get for doing nothing?
– A trophy.

2 Millennials get into a counting contest
– The announcer says “okay Millennials, start counting from 1 to 2000!”

They both scoff and easily count that high within minutes. One says “I’m a Millennial, I could count to 2000 in my sleep!

The announcer, obviously worried that there will not be a winner, thinks up a plan.

He says “ok, now we are gonna change it up a little! You are going to count by ones” pointing to the first Millenial “and you are going to count by twos” pointing to the second.

The first Millennial starts off, counting by ones, and swiftly makes it to 2000 in only a few minutes. Everyone then turns to the second Millennial who starts off, “two… three?… six… nine…? The crowd gasps as the second Millennial obviously goes red with embarrassment. As the announcer gives the 1st place trophy to the first Millennial, the second Millennial groans and stomps her foot in frustration and yells “I JUST CAN’T EVEN!”

Someone told me that I have ‘Millennial humor’
– It’s comments like those that make me want to shoot myself and then go into debt.

What do you call a millennial acting like they grew up in the 70’s
– A hippiecrite.

How can the Democrats light a fire under Millennial voters?
– They can use Flint and Tinder

“When I make my last student loan payment in 2083 it’s over for y’all.”
– — @omohimoria_

As a millennial snowflake, if I can’t win,
– I at least expect a ribbon for precipitation.

Is there a problem in the world millennials don’t get blamed for? I don’t think so.
– that “back in their day” was actually when things were easy.

What do you call a millennial who has a job and is going to school full time?
– In debt and struggling.

Amazeballs is millennial for “cool”,
– But it’s also Native American for “hush puppies”.

How many millennials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
– 1 to hold the bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them!

What does a millennial cowboy say?
– Yeet Haw!

How many Millennials does it take…
– to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Their parents will do it for them.

Hear about the game of Life Millennial Edition?
– There are 27 different pegs for gender and only four squares: Debt, Rent, Destroy an Industry, and early Death from lack of healthcare.

Why are Millennials so odd?
– Because they can’t even.

A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar
– They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.

They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society. >
The boomer waves this off and says the kids these days are just too sensitive, and that he fought for civil rights in the sixties and did his part.

They go back and forth on this for a while, and finally the Gen Z kid says, “we’re just not gonna settle this. We don’t see eye to eye. You’re too old and out of touch and I’m too young and inexperienced. What we need to do is ask a Millennial with a PhD in sociology for their opinion.”

The boomer says, “that’s a great idea!” And yells, “HEY BARTENDER, C’MERE!”

Millennials don’t get this…
– Low college tuition rates.

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