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Milk jokes 🥛🍼 in 2024

A new supermarket opened near my house.
– A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing, and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.>
In the meat department, there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalising smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.

I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore.

What did the Mandalorian say when his milk curdled and he strained out the curds?
– This is the whey.

An astronaut was trying to make coffee on the space station.
Astronaut 1: “I want to make coffee but I can’t find any milk.”
Astronaut 2: “In space, no one can. Here, use cream.”

What type of cows give Russian milk?
– Moscows.

Why is cold milk always so relaxed?
– Because it chills in the fridge.

How do you count cows?
– With a cowculator!

Why did the cow cross the road?
– To get to the udder side!

Where do cow farts come from?
– The dairy air

What do romantic cows eat?
– Pizza, because it is so cheesy!

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of my ex wife.
– (And hold them under until the bubbles stop. )

Did you know Mandalorians love blue-milk cottage cheese?
– This is the whey.

I Remember
– when I could go to the local milk bar with a dollar and walk out with a big bag of lollies.
You can’t do that anymore, things have changed.
These days they have cameras everywhere..

What has the lone cow been up to lately?
– Nobody’s herd…

What is the difference between an emo kid and a gallon of milk?
– The milk won’t hang itself after you dump it.

Milk that cow..
– Three handsome crop farmers (brunette, redhead, and blonde) liked the same farm-girl. The farm-girl had a big dairy farm.

One day the three farmer friends decided to ask her, who she would like to go out with. Since they were all very handsome, the farm-girl had a hard time deciding, so she proposed a competition…
She gave each one a 20 gallon bucket and told them whoever can get the most milk from one of my cows can date me….!

That seemed fair so brunette went first, and came back after one hour with 5 gallons of milk… that’s all I can get from one cow, he said.
The redhead went next and after two hours brought back 7 gallons of milk.

The blonde really wanted to win this so he went looking for the largest cow. After eight hours he came back and said, “I tried really hard but your cow was sick, I only got two gallons of cream….”.

The farm-girl’s bull died the next day…!

“Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the production of this joke.

What did the farm owner tell the dairymaid who broke her leg in the cow’s pen and was now working at an extremely slow pace?
– She was milking it too much.

A programmer was leaving the house and his wife said “While you’re out, get some milk”
– He never returned and the world ran out of milk

My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior.
He was a danger to himself and udders.

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