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Milk jokes 🥛🍼 in 2024

A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter.
– How dairy.

Doctor: you’re allergic to milk
Me: No whey?

When do the supermarkets in Japan restock their milk?
– They restock it dairy.

What do you call a cow which is a female and can’t produce milk?
– A miss-steak.

How do you make a cow be quiet?
– Press the moo-te button.

Where does Russian milk come from?
– Moscows.

What type of bees produce milk?
– Boo-bees

Why do they call it almond milk?
– Cuz no one can say nut juice with a straight face….

Why did the Vampire go to the store for milk and cigarettes
– He didn’t wanna be around the son anymore

Where do cows get all their medicine?
– The farmacy!

Milk cows have hooves at the end of their legs. Not feet, like you and me.
– They lactose.

What ethnic group eats the most milk products per capita?
– The Kurds

Where do Canadians get their milk from?
– Cowgary.

How often do Jamaican farmers milk their cows?
– Every udder day

What kind of bee produces milk?
– A boo-bee.

A wife asks her husband to go to the shop to buy a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, to get six. The husband returns with six cartons of milk. When the wife asks “Why did you buy so much milk?!” he replies, “they had eggs.”

In my day, I could walk into the grocery with a dime and walk out with a loaf of bread, half a gallon of milk, a dozen eggs, and a pound of hamburger.
– Nowadays they’ve got these newfangled cameras everywhere.

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
– It’s pasture bedtime!

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