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Milk jokes 🥛🍼 in 2025

What does the farmer talk about while milking a cow?
– Udder nonsense.

Men say ‘why buy the whole cow just for some milk?” Women say…
– “why buy the whole pig just for a little sausage?”

Why was the young boy so sick?
– He drank too much cow milk in one moo-ve.

Why was the old milk so impatient when he was in the line at the grocery store?
– He had been whey-ting for a long time.

What did one dairy cow say to the other?
– Got milk?

How do dairy farmers do their taxes?
– They go to an accountant.

What’s faster, milk, or bread?
– Milk because it’s pasteurise before you see it

How does regular milk introduce itself in Spanish?
– Soy milk!

I asked my German host if I could get milk into my darjeeling
– He replied “49”.

Milk did it, but Tropicana wouldn’t put missing children posters on their bottles.
– They said nobody wanted to hear that OJ is looking for kids.

Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them.
– It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder.

What do you call a cow that never gives milk?
– An udder failure.

Why do Western Asians like to drink sour milk?
– It is curdish.

A blonde in a coffee shop:
“Will 6 coffees fit in this thermos?”
“Yes, they will!”
“Can a get two black, two with milk and sugar and two cappuccinos, please?”

What do you call a cow jumping on a trampoline?
– A milkshake.

What is milk called when it gets whatever it wants?
– Spoiled milk.

When do dairy farmers take their milk to church?
– When it needs to be pastor-ized.

A Dairy Farmer got into the healthy Oat Milk business.
– He *barley* made ends meet.

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