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Milk jokes 🥛🍼 in 2025

Studies show that cows produce more milk…
when the farmer talks to them.
It’s a case of “in one ear, and out the udder”.

How do you milk sheep?
– Release new iPhone with less accessories

How did the parents feel when their naughty kid replaced their milk with lemon juice?
– They were very sour about it.

What do you call a sad cow?
– Moo-dy.

The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn.
I asked him, “Pasteurized?”

He said, “No, just up to your neck”

What sound does a cow make when it runs out of milk?
– None. There is udder silence.

My dad finally came home with the milk!
– Oh, wait. That was the milk delivery, my bad

Got fired from my new job at the dairy factory for making 1% milk the wrong way…
…instead of following the directions exactly, I just skimmed them.

Why does a milking Stool only have 3 legs?
– Because the cow has the Utter

Where do you find cows who are having a really bad day?
– McDonalds.

What happened when a cow won a huge lottery and landed his dream job?
– He milked the opportunity for all it was worth!

What happens when a bottle of milk starts living in the countryside?
– He becomes cottage cheese.

I went to a cheese making factory
They talked about a special kind of milk that they used that produced only curds.
I was like “no whey!!”

What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow?
– A steak-out.

Why was the dairy farmer asking for directions?
– He lost his whey!

What happened when the milk’s mother realized the milk was hiding in the freezer?
– According to her “I-screamed!”

Did you know: the cows with the sweetest, most delectable milk have a unique defensive mechanism?
– Horns!

How do you kill a glass of milk?
– You go for the JUGular.

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