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Military Jokes ⚔️ in 2025

Two fresh sailors were talking about assignments they would like to get.
-Sailor 1: “Someday I’d like to ride on a submarine.”
Sailor 2: “Not me! I wouldn’t set foot on any ship that sinks on purpose.”

Why does the Navy have Marines on their ships?
-Sheep are too obvious.

A soldier runs up a hill and around a corner before slamming into an officer.
-“Where do you think you’re going, son?”
“Sorry, Captain! It’s crazy out there and the firefight was so heavy. I got scared and tried to go AWOL.”
“Who you calling Captain? I’m a general!”
“Wow!” exclaimed the soldier. “I didn’t realize I’d run that far back.”

A general radios a colonel.
-“Got any smart majors?”
“Quite a few! Why?”
“Can you send some over? I need to move around some furniture.”

What’s the difference between a Navy aircrewman and an otter?
-The otter knows he’s not a seal.

Officer: Why weren’t you in your camouflage this morning?
-Soldier: “I was, sir.”
Officer: “Guess those tailors did a good job.”

How many guns do you need for a firefight?
-Two. One for us to shoot and one for the United States to sell to the enemy so he can shoot us back.

Which branch is the most patriotic?
– The Air Force because they are US AF.

What did the Navy say to the Coast Guard?
-“SEAL you later!”

What do you call a snail on a ship?
-A snailer.

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