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Military Jokes ⚔️ in 2024

What’s the difference between a Navy aircrewman and an otter?
-The otter knows he’s not a seal.

Officer: Why weren’t you in your camouflage this morning?
-Soldier: “I was, sir.”
Officer: “Guess those tailors did a good job.”

How many guns do you need for a firefight?
-Two. One for us to shoot and one for the United States to sell to the enemy so he can shoot us back.

Which branch is the most patriotic?
– The Air Force because they are US AF.

What did the Navy say to the Coast Guard?
-“SEAL you later!”

What do you call a snail on a ship?
-A snailer.

What do Marines have in common with other members of the Armed Forces?
– They all originally set out to become Marines.

Why does the military only allow dress shirts at its ceremonies?
-Civilian casual tees are unacceptable.

How do different military branches use stars?
– The Army sleeps under the stars.
The Navy navigates by the stars.
The Air Force chooses hotels by the stars.

What do you call a large formation of MAC aircraft?
-A Big Mac Attack.

Why did the US Navy gift the British Navy glass-bottomed boats?
-So they could see the old British Navy.

What happened when the soldier went to the enemy bar?
-He got bombed.

I’m about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes.
-I have to take a course in anchor management.

It’s 1955 at a SAC B-36 base and an F-86 pilot is requesting landing instructions.
-He is low on fuel and asks for priority. The tower tells him he is second in line behind a B-36 with an engine out. The Jet pilot’s response, “Ahh, the dreaded nine engine landing.”

Why did God give the Marine one more brain cell than the horse?
-So he wouldn’t poop along the parade route.

My friend asked why I wouldn’t tell him my military rank.
-I told him it’s Private.

What month do all troops hate?
-March.

Where do rabbits learn to fly?
– The hare force.

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