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Military Jokes ⚔️ in 2025

Why did the soldier blow himself up?
-He wanted to C4 himself.

What’s long, hard, and full of seamen?
-A submarine.

What do you call a pirate with military experience?
-Army Matey.

Why don’t Twitter users make good soldiers?
-They’re always too quick to retweet.

Son: “Dad, what was your favorite day as a soldier?”
-Dad: “The first time I sent some private to find batteries for the chem lights.”

A kid fresh from high school wants to join the Navy. “Can you swim?” asks the recruiter.
-“Why? Don’t y’all have boats?”

How do you play Air Force Bingo?
-“A-10… B-52… F-16!”

My dad said he joined the Navy out of spite.
-He was a petty officer.

What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
-A seasoned veteran.

How do you know if there’s an Air Force pilot at your party?
-Oh, don’t worry. He’ll tell you as soon as he walks in.

What did one troubled sailor say to the other?
-We’re in the same boat.

How do you know someone is a marine?
-You’ll hear them.

An ice cream cone and a slice of cheesecake joined the army. They eventually abandoned their fellow soldiers.
-They are now wanted for dessertion.

What do you call a 2nd lieutenant surrounded by PFCs?
-Lost.

Air Force pilot to a seaman: “You’re telling me that you’re in the Navy but can’t swim?”
-Seaman: “You’re in the Air Force. Can you fly?”

What’s the difference between God and an Air Force pilot?
-God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.

What do you call a Marine with a head wound?
-Ajar head.

What’s the true meaning of Army?
– Aren’t Ready for Marines Yet.

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