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Military Jokes ⚔️ in 2024
The military is a collection of all the armed forces of a particular country (The army, navy, air-force, and other security branches). The military's main job is the provision of protection to the country’s citizens from internal and external attacks. There are still head-turning military jokes despite how serious their job sounds.
Where do rabbits learn to fly?
– The hare force.
Why do SEALs fall backward off the boat?
-If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.
Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”
-Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”
Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now, let’s try it again!”
Officer: “Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?”
Soldier: “No, SIR!”
What’s the best job for babies in the Army?
-The Infantry.
Why does the Norwegian Navy put bar codes on their ships?
-So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over?
-He says, “Enough about me. Want to hear about my plane?”
Ever wonder what Marine stands for?
-Muscles. Are. Required. Intelligence. Not. Essential.
What do you call a bunch of squid joining the military?
-The kalim-army.
What do soldiers do when they find a scorpion in their tent?
-In the Marines, they kill the scorpion.
In the Army, they call their CO and report the presence of the scorpion.
In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there’s a tent in his room.
Why doesn’t the Army Football team have ice on the sidelines?
-The guy with the recipe finally graduated.
What do the Chinese call their Navy?
-The censor ships.
A general is sitting in his jeep on the side of the road when a lieutenant pulls up, hops out, and asks, “Car stuck?”
-The general hands the Lt. his keys, slides into his jeep, and says, “Nope. But, yours is.”
What’s the Marines’ main mission?
-To make sure the Army never gets their feet wet.
What did the Navy dentist’s license plate read?
-TOP GUM.
An F-16 comes careening down the runway. It’s anything but smooth, fishtailing, and leaving a line of burnt rubber and sparks behind it.
-Tower: “Need any assistance, Airman?”
Pilot: “I don’t know, we’re not done crashing yet!”
What’s the worst thing you can say to a Marine?
-“I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to join the marines.”
Person 1: “My friend is so successful! He does surgery, is a military general, and was recently knighted by the Queen of England.”
-Person 2: “What do you call him?”
Person 3: “Sir Gen.”
Why do military men often marry lovers from the foreign countries in which they’re deployed?
-When they finally come home, they get to leave their in-laws thousands of miles away.
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Clean Military humor
Military humor is based on the military life stereotype. It portrays a vast range of characters and situations found in the armed forces. It makes use of cartoons, strips, exaggeration, jokes, parody, ridicule, sarcasm and comes in a wide array of tastes and culture. Military humor usually comes in the form of military jokes. The military also has its slang which is full of humorous expressions such as 'fart sack' which means a cotton mattress cover that completely contains a 'rack' or thin mattress. Military expressions, for example, friendly fire, are a frequent source of satirical humor.Funny military jokes
Military jokes are often quite blunt. There is nothing that beats the laughter from a military joke. The people in the military are often disciplined and have rock-hard bodies. Just like everyone else though, they also have a soft spot for jokes, especially the world-class gags that speak about the experience of what being a soldier is like. Soldiers are the main users of these funny military jokes. Since their work is quite tough, the ability to joke about their occupation is pretty much a necessity. Other than the soldiers, normal citizens or people of all ages use these jokes to get an insight into what the military is like and also make light of different situations.The best military jokes are brought about by the fact that they are made up of relatable experiences the soldiers go through either during training or all through their line of duty. They are also very simple and easy to understand, making their enjoyment more and their use more widespread.
Clean military jokes
Just like all genres of jokes, military jokes also have a sub-grouping of jokes that are meant for the older individuals in a society due to their obscenity and deeper meanings. When using military jokes, it is important to know your audience to know the kinds of military jokes that would be age-appropriate and acceptable. An example of a clean military joke is;A lieutenant was mad at a cadet in training and growled at him saying, "I did not see you at camouflage training this morning!" The cadet in training looked quite pleased with himself answering, "Thank you very much, sir."
Military jokes marine
The marine is the branch of the military that handles navy-related campaigns. The marine military jokes are associated with the sea, their work equipment such as the submarines, and their diving gear. The jokes also include the sea animals and everything sea-related.Lessons learned from military jokes
The saying goes, laughter is the best medicine. Who would not use a little laughter about now, right?Other than the fact that there are short military jokes that can be used and enjoyed by individuals of all ages, there are various lessons that can be drawn from all across the branches of the military.
These lessons include:
1. The environment one works in can be lightened up. Jokes shared between veterans at work lighten up the work environment. The veterans need to share jokes as the work they do can be very strenuous and draining. Short military jokes here and there, therefore, act as reminders that the environment does not always have to be gloomy and tense.
2. The jokes, for example, the conversation between the lieutenant and cadet in training about the camouflage training; teach the importance of always trying to see things from different points of view. The cadet thought that he had not seen the cadet but in reality, that is the point of camouflage training, the blending in with your environment. Patience is key, so is open-mindedness.
3. The jokes also teach the importance of moving past bad times in only a short period. Considering veterans don't have all the time in the world to sulk over their failures, a good lesson for them is just how the jokes come and go, so do the failures and disappointments in their field of work.